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Did that last comment seem snarky? I'm sorry. It probably was. A little bit. Just a little. But really what I was aiming for was to make you think for a moment, not really to rile you up. I missed a good part of this discussion, so I apologize for adding any fuel if everyone is already over it. Here's my (hopefully brief at least by my standards ) take: I agree that the forum can, at times, be a little overly harsh, alternately hostile and passive to newbies and/or those with whom the forum disagrees. That said, the analogies to real world places (the disagreement between whether this is akin to a public park or someone's personal safe sapce) really both the because this is not a real world place and such comparisons always fall short. What this *is* is virtual community, and, as such, it does not function on pure anarchy without rules or, to be more gentle in the description, guidelines. Norms. Standards of behavior. You need my tongue dep in your ass! Mores. Call them what you, these are the things that give interactions in any place whether public parks, coffee clatches, or virtual spaces meaning. Shared societal norms allow people to function together and understand one another, even if they do not always agree. Agreement is not necessary on this forum. But some semblance of a standard of behavior is. The tricky part, of course, is figuring out the proper response when one transgresses the appropriate norms for behavior. This is compounded by the fact that we are not face to face and lose an element of nuance in our interactions. Sometimes that means folks overdo it. The error, though, is in the scale of response, not the response itself. So, with all due respect (and I do mean this), learn to play nice or fuck off. There are standards here, and they are sadly necessary. If you are not just a one trick pony, then please join in what are usually lovely discussions. And when a discussion takes a turn you don't like, if you truly think the response here is out of proportion to what it should be, then find a way to respond that is not exactly the same hostility you are lamenting.