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Bi-phobia and Compassion Wow. I have to say I was hoping better from from VT, but according to the study (link below) it's not surprising. Sexuality is a deeply personal part of the human experience, and to be slammed with discrimination from the heterosexual and homosexual community is truly depressing. Being bisexual or fluid or however you want the term to be--it is as valid and as biological as any other orientation. It does not reflect what kind of person I am morally anymore than I would assume a lesbian is a man-hater or plays softball. Some gay men nice, some are nasty others are a mix. Some lesbians are sweet--others aren't--again a mix. This seems obvious to most--but I have had my personality assumed based solely on my orientation. I've been accused of being slutty, indecisive, invalid and immoral! And that person never met me! I am sure their not-so-nice bisexual people that may have hurt her. That's a problem of needing to know classier people, not about orientation! There's some amazing bisexual people who know how to treat a partner, and looking for love--maybe in the same way you seek--and you're missing out on the love of your life, because you are making very big discriminatory assumptions about them. Question those assumptions!
If you read this far, I ask you to stretch yourself a bit more and take a hard look at yourself. Is it the person who worked hard to discover and accept their identity the problem, or does the problem lay with how you are perceiving them the issue? Summon up your compassion and ask: would I want my sexual identity be considered invalid? When I am seeking a connection do I want people assume I am slutty, immoral and invalid based on one thing about me? How would I feel? What is within ME that I react so negatively to someone elses preferences? Where did I get these assumptions about their character--was it something they said or am I projecting an image? Where did I get that image? Is that image valid? What can I learn from this person and does it challenge what I think I know?
This dating stuff is hard enough--why make it harder by adding more hurt to the world?

My request to you, dear Reader: Whoever you are and however you identify stand on the side of love, demand compassion from yourself and anyone you are in contact with, challenge the perceptions that keep us divided and seek out understanding wherever you find discord--even if you find that discord lays within.
I am a bisexual woman and I stand on the side of love--no matter how it's expressed! How about you?



Do you have bi-phobia? Take the quiz and find out!
Bisexual invisibility is one of many manifestations of biphobia. Others include:
Assuming that everyone you meet is either heterosexual or homosexual.
Supporting and understanding a bisexual identity for young people because you identified
"that way" before you came to your "real" lesbian/gay/heterosexual identity.
Automatiy assuming romantic couplings of two women are lesbian, or two men are gay,
or a man and a woman are heterosexual.
Expecting a bisexual to identify as gay or lesbian when coupled with the "same" sex/gender.
Expecting a bisexual to identify as heterosexual when coupled with the "opposite"
sex/gender.
Believing that bisexual men spread HIV/AIDS to heterosexuals.
Believing that bisexual women spread HIV/AIDS to lesbians.
Thinking bisexual people haven't made up their minds.
Refusing to accept someone's self-identification as bisexual if the person hasn't had sex with
both men and women.
Expecting bisexual people to get services, information, and education from heterosexual
service agencies for their "heterosexual side" and then go to gay and/or lesbian service
agencies for their "homosexual side."
Feeling bisexuals just want to have their cake and eat it too.
Assuming a bisexual person would want to fulfill your sexual fantasies or curiosities.
Thinking bisexuals only have committed relationships with "opposite" sex/gender partners.
Being gay or lesbian and asking your bisexual friends about their lovers or whom they are
dating only when that person is the "same" sex/gender.
Assuming that bisexuals, if given the choice, would prefer to be in an "opposite" gender/sex
coupling to reap the social benefits of a "heterosexual" pairing.
Assuming bisexuals would be willing to "pass" as anything other than bisexual.
Believing bisexuals are confused about their sexuality.
Feeling that you can't trust a bisexual because they aren't really gay or lesbian, or aren't really
heterosexual.
Refusing to use the word bisexual in the media when reporting on people attracted to more
than one gender, instead substituting made-up terms such as "gay-ish."
Using the terms phase or stage or confused or fence-sitter or bisexual or AC/DC or switch-hitter as
slurs or in an accusatory way.
Assuming bisexuals are incapable of monogamy.
Feeling that bisexual people are too outspoken and pushy about their visibility and rights.
Looking at a bisexual person and automatiy thinking of her/his sexuality rather than
seeing her/him as a whole, complete person.
Not confronting a biphobic remark or joke for fear of being identified as bisexual.
Assuming bisexual means "available."
Thinking that bisexual people will have their rights when lesbian and gay people win theirs.
Expecting bisexual activists and organizers to minimize bisexual issues (such as HIV/AIDS,
violence, basic civil rights, military service, same-sex marriage, child custody, adoption, etc.)
and to prioritize the visibility of "lesbian and/or gay" issues.
Avoiding mentioning to friends that you are involved with a bisexual or working with a
bisexual group because you are afraid they will think you are a bisexual.
look up bi-invisibility and bi-phobia for more...